Despite the fact that the Oxford English Dictionary lists 171,476 words in common usage and another 47,156 obsolete words and yet an additional 9,500 word derivatives and subentries, there are times when we find ourselves at a complete loss for words!  Imagine that!  With 228,132 words available, we still come up short!  We scour our brains for the perfect adjectives, the best adverbs and the most superlative superlatives but none of them are sufficient to communicate our true feelings.  How many times have you found yourselves saying, “I don’t know how to describe it!  It was just THE BEST!” and still felt that you’d inadequately conveyed your meaning.  Words like “awesome,” “fabulous,” “outstanding” and “wonderful” have been so overused they are now cliche.  “I love it!” “I hate it!” “That’s terrific!” “How fantastic!”  English teachers mark up drafts of student essays with comments like, “be more specific,” “give examples,” or “SHOW me!”  Johnny Carson, on his late night talk show, always tried to extrapolate more meaning from his guests asking, “How horrible (or terrific or beautiful or any other adjective) WAS it?”  Clearly, people have been searching for words for a long, long time.

I recently returned from a week-long visit to my old neighborhood where I’d lived for over nine years.  Whenever I’m there, it’s like I never left.  I am in lockstep with my friends, I catch up on their lives, I participate in the various activities I’d always enjoyed and I melt into the group just as I did before.  Even my dog resumes his former life there with his old buddies.  He frolics in Pat and Jim’s fenced yard with their two dogs, an enthusiastically energetic black Standard Poodle, Maddie, and Pokey, a tri-colored English Springer Spaniel, just like him!  His stubby tail wags so fiercely I wonder if I should crush Advil into his kibble to ease any muscle pain!  He looks at me with his gorgeous chocolate-brown eyes as if to say, “Boy!  Was THAT ever fun!  Let’s do it again!”  And I get it.  I really do.  He doesn’t need words.  The gleam in his eyes says what he can’t.  But upon my return to the real world and in answering my husband’s question, “How was your week?” I couldn’t find the words!

“It was FABULOUS!” I say, searching for better words.  “I mean . . . I had SO MUCH FUN!”  Again, it was not quite accurate, bland in fact.   Emphasizing trite words and expressions does NOT enhance their meaning.  I could just hear Johnny Carson asking, ” . . . how fabulous WAS it?”

“What did you do?” he prodded.

Simply recounting the week’s activities answered his question, but I remained vexed.  Telling him that I played golf several times, engaged in hijinks and pranks more suited for college sororities, attended a picnic where everyone wore white, walked the dog with friends, enjoyed a few dinner parties and explored a new boutique with a couple more friends summarized my exploits but I couldn’t convey the true joy of it all because my words weren’t enough.

Back in my daily routine and attending to ordinary chores, I wandered up and down the aisles at the grocery store, gathering my usual items.  The task is so mundane a robot could be programmed to do it.  There’s no variety, nothing exciting, just the same ol’ same ol’, week in, week out.

“<GASP!>  Hey!  Why don’t you make gazpacho like Eileen made?” I said to myself.  “That was sooooooo good!”

Energized by my brilliant idea, I scurried to the produce section to select only the freshest tomatoes, cucumbers, jalapeños, onions, cilantro and avocados.

“<GASP!>  Oh my gosh!  There’s those chocolate covered peanuts and yogurt pretzels and raisins that Melanie served when I went to her house for dinner!” I exclaimed as I passed that display, grabbing a carton of each.

Suddenly my ho-hum excursion to the grocery store breathed new life!  I definitely couldn’t find  words fit enough to adequately communicate my week-long experience in my old stomping ground, but maybe food could!  I’d duplicate my experience!  I took a detour out of the produce department and parked my cart among the orchids in the floral section.   Recalling the various dinner parties I’d attended, I supplemented my list, intending to duplicate each and every menu.

“Hmmmmm . . . . let’s see, Ron served grilled filets,” I thought as I entered “choice filets” on my grocery app.  “Eileen and I cheated and brought salads from a deli, but Holly brought her hominy casserole!  I LOVE that stuff!  I hope I can remember everything I need to make it!  Think, think, THINK!”

More ingredients lengthened my list.

“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! OhmygoshohmygoshohmyGOSH!” I squealed to myself in delight.  “PATTY MELTS!  Melanie made PATTY MELTS that would put Hamburger Hamlet to shame!  I’ve GOT to make them!”  

It should be noted that Melanie is an excellent cook.  To think that my patty melts would even come close to being as good as hers is pure folly but I had to at least try!  Melanie out-chefs Wolfgang Puck, she’s that good!  Her kitchen betrays her expertise and her pantry is that of a master chef, complete with spices, sauces and other ingredients I’ve never even heard of.  She has all the fancy utensils, pots, pans and blending machines needed for creating exquisite cuisine.   Le Cordon Bleu’s facilities in France aren’t even as complete!  As I skipped through the aisles tossing new and interesting items into my otherwise blah grocery cart, I reveled in delighting my husband with the same experiences I’d just had not even a week ago.  Who needs words to convey experience when I can replicate it?  If imitation truly is the finest form of flattery, then I’m a copy cat!

“Uh oh!”  I said stopping dead in my tracks, alarmed at my sudden realization,  “Scratch cake!  She made a white cake with white buttercream icing from scratch!  WHO DOES THAT ANYMORE?  Martha Stewart, maybe, but not me!  I don’t know how to make a cake from scratch!  And even if I did, it would be as heavy as a brick!  And it would taste like one, too!  Melanie’s cake was . . . well, it was bakery good!  She even said she ‘doctored’ it up with her own special touch!  I don’t HAVE ‘a special touch!'”  

My synapses were striking at such rapid speed that I remembered Melanie packaged up two huge slices for me to bring home!  Everything was falling into place perfectly!  With my word search no longer an issue, I have the PERFECT response to the question, “How fun was it?”

It was dog-walking-boutique-exploring-gazpacho-grilledfilet-hominy-pattymelt-whitescratchcake-chocolatepeanut-yogurtpretzel-fun!